Spice up your tea drinking ... and we're not talking about chai.
Basalt, Colo. (April 2015) — Tea is many things to many people, but at Two Leaves and a Bud Tea Company, a new tea developed specifically for amorous adults has the tea industry rethinking its image.
“It’s about time for tea to get a little naughtier, and we want to be on top of that movement,” says Two Leaves and a Bud Tea Company CEO and Founder Richard Rosenfield. “Our new 50 Shades of Earl Grey is all about bringing tea lovers together with not just tea, but also other tea lovers. Or, well, any lovers at all, to be honest.”
50 Shades of Earl Grey combines the best black tea with a concentrated serving of a local honey harvested by the isolated U’wa Tribe in Colombia, where it is known to be a potent aphrodisiac, as well as bright blue pieces of Viagra pills. As a result, the slightly sweet, rich tasting tea has proven to lower inhibitions, encourage mingling and bold fashion choices.
In double-blind, placebo-controlled studies, Two Leaves and a Bud found that tea drinkers sipping 50 Shades of Earl Grey were twice as likely to start a conversation with an attractive person in the room rather than bury their nose in a Jane Austen novel, and remove their cardigan rather than button it all the way up.
“We have no problem with many of our biggest fans and their introverted choices, but sometimes we wonder if our fans would be served by drinking a tea that encourages them not just to go to book club, but to actually go out clubbing,” says Two Leaves and a Bud Marketing Manager Christy Garfield.
The tea company’s best selling Organic Earl Grey sachets have long gained recognition for being some of the best in the industry, and so the new 50 Shades of Earl Grey sachets attempt to mimic the company’s original tea formula and appearance as much as possible. For the new aphrodisiac tea, rather than adding bright blue cornflower leaves for color and depth of flavor, 50 Shades of Earl Grey includes tiny chips of that popular bright blue pill that’s world-famous for turning up the heat in many relationship.
“Deciding that those little bits of Viagra belonged in this new black tea blend was a big step forward for us,” says Rosenfeld. “Ultimately, dissolving the medication into a bit of hot water when you steep this tea has just enough oomph to increase arousal in both men and women, so the payoffs are big.” The company’s CEO further added that while he and his wife have been drinking the new tea together at home, it is unknown if the tea is responsible for the spring in Rosenfield’s step observed in the office as of late.
Martha McNarris, a librarian who often volunteers to taste test Two Leaves and a Bud Tea Company products at her home in Lubbock, Texas, said she was delightfully surprised by the effect the tea had on her social life after she unpacked the new tea shipment in front of her six house cats.
“It was Friday night and I was all set to curl up on the couch under my afghan to binge watch season 2 of Downton Abbey, since that’s my favorite season,” she said. “But several sips in, I decided that my one-bedroom apartment was feeling a little lonely, so I knocked on the door of Jim, my next door neighbor who teaches high school math, and invited him over for tea.”
As the Two Leaves and a Bud company team Skyped with McNarris the following Monday morning to get her reaction to the new tea, the librarian confirmed that her neighbor hadn’t, in fact, yet left her apartment, and the pair were considering calling in sick to work that day. “We just got carried away,” McNarris said with a wink. “We drank more as the night went on and …” McNarris turned pink and her words were then drowned out by the squeal of her own tea kettle.
50 Shades of Earl Grey will be available for purchase beginning today, April 1, on the company’s website at www.twoleavestea.com, and includes a special offer for rush delivery that arrives on doorsteps in plain brown packaging.
April Fools, tea lovers! Somehow, we think this tea would be a bestseller, and yet we're not sure we'd get FDA approval so ... dream on. But for being in on the joke with us, please use promo code APRILFOOLS2015 to get 35 percent off your online purchase today only. Cheers!